road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
there is puke in my bra ... again
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