i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
