THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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