I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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