Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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