it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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