Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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