im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
