I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.