Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

it was a shit show

(917): View more from New York City

We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.

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(216): View more from Ohio

ok i said sorry. what else do you want?

(740): View more from Ohio

100 blowjobs

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

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(209): View more from California

Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.

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(806): View more from Texas

my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.

(940): View more from Texas

umm... whats the butter for?

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