Me. At least after what I've been through.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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