I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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