I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
