I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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