Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize