I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am mentally ready for anal.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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