The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize