does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.