seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just invented taco cereal.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there