You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
