my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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