I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
