sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
