just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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