I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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