She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
