Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
