i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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