I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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