My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
