i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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