i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
