Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
