Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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