Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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