She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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