Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need moral support for this bender
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
