Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize