Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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