I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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