I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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