Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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