I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
