forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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