Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
