I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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