I'm really into asian looking animals
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Your cock deserves a montage
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
