They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
