New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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