she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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