Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
