I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize