my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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