So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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