i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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