And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
